While our focus at Thanksgiving is on gratitude, in December, we tend to focus on resolutions, future goals and what’s coming up next on the calendar. It’s natural and quite healthy. And if the start of the new year inspires you to start exercising, change jobs, try a new hobby, then that’s fantastic and I wish you the best!
But what if the “new” you seek is something hard to define?
What if you want to get along better with your sister or you wish you could communicate more effectively with your spouse or partner? What if you’ve had it with your child constantly tattling?
How do we make these sorts of things better when we don’t really know what to do or where to start?
I’d like to share with you one of my favorite and most useful “Holiday Help” tips. It’s actually a response that fits so well in a variety of situations and please don’t just save it for the holidays!
It’s so quick and easy, you might not believe it works!
HERE IT IS:
“Thank you for letting me know.”
Yep, that’s it!
Now imagine…
“Don’t forget the butter. You never put in enough butter.”
Thanks for letting me know. You’re exchanging gifts on Christmas eve with extended family and your sister complains that the gift you gave your niece is something she already has.
Thanks for letting me know. Would you like the receipt so you can return it for something else?“Mom, the cat threw up in the hallway!”
Thanks for letting me know. Grab a paper towel and wipe it up, please.
“I heard the boss wasn’t too happy about you taking so much time off around the holidays.”
Thanks for letting me know.
This response also works equally well in more serious, more emotional situations.
It’s important to note though that a sincere apology along with this response will go a lot farther toward peace and reconciliation than you might realize.
Together, it lets our loved ones know that we hear them, that their feelings matter, and that we will try to do better simply because we love them.
Feelings are not right or wrong so whether you agree or disagree doesn’t actually matter. If you love and care for your spouse, partner, sister, child, etc., you really are thankful that they let you know, right?!
It wasn’t your intention to cause harm or bad feelings!
TRUTH: All of us want peaceful and loving relationships and most of us move through life with positive intent.
Next, I want you to think about these scenarios…
I’m sorry. Thank you for letting me know.“When you say things like that, it hurts. And it makes me feel like I’m not appreciated.”
I’m sorry. Thank you for letting me know.“I feel like I can’t do anything right.”
“You’re always trying to fix me.”
“I feel like a disappointment to you.”
I’m sorry. Thank you for letting me know.
“Thank you for letting me know” is a respectful and loving communication hack that naturally shifts our hearts and minds so we’re focused on love. And when we do that, deeper understanding, acceptance, and positive change are possible.
Hope that helps!
My family and I would like to wish you and your loved ones an abundance of peace, love, prosperity, and good health in 2019.
Happy Holidays and Thank YOU for your kind support and interest in my work.
