I saw this great video the other day. It was an interview of the best-selling author, Seth Godin, on his new book, “This Is Marketing”.
Something Seth said really hit home for me and with Thanksgiving fast approaching, I thought it would be timely to explore a concept he shared, in the hopes that it might help you to enjoy your family and the holiday season more.
So here it is:
Show up with generosity and presence.
Go ahead and read it again. I’ll wait… =)
Just to be clear, Seth was not talking about this in the context of the holiday meal and all that stress you feel when you’re trying to prep, cook and serve the food so everything comes out at the same time and is still hot as it makes it to the table. (Ugh.)
Nor was he telling you how to deal with your obnoxious relative – the one who loves both politics and whiskey. (Yikes!)
And he wasn’t even referring to the anxiety of going through airport security with kids, carry-ons, and a stroller that’s supposed to fold down with a push of a button but always jams up at the worst times. (Mama needs a drink.)
He was actually speaking about marketing and blogging to grow your business.
But what I “heard” was advice that extended far beyond my business plan.
Showing up with generosity and presence are two qualities that are really all about love and connection. Love and connection are fundamental human needs of our personality. In coaching, we talk a lot about human needs because meeting one’s needs in healthy positive ways is the foundation for achieving a happy life.
And for most people, love and connection are super important – we want it, we need it, we crave it. But we don’t always “do” anything to nourish the relationships we have or bring more connection into our lives.
In other words, we don’t always “show up”.
Sometimes we hold back on generosity and presence because it takes too much time and effort. AKA lazy. We think we keep up with people on social media but ask yourself, if someone saw your page, do they really see what’s in your heart or what’s on your mind?
Sometimes we hold back generosity and presence because we’re afraid if we give it, it won’t be received well – which generates feelings of vulnerability and of being judged.
We may also “forget” to be present and generous because we’re overwhelmed by difficult relationships and obligations. This is something I can relate too. I have so many balls in the air and they all seem so important that I forget to just stop, look someone in the eyes, and listen.
My top three keys on how to be generous and present this holiday season are really simple.
These keys may seem like the same old, same old. But I promise you that the details in the descriptions are not…
1. STOP – Stop what you’re doing and put down the phone, the book, the laptop, etc., and breathe.
2. LOOK – Lift your head up and look deep into someone’s eyes. Notice how pretty their eyes are. Notice the emotion coming through. Consciously create a safe space for your loved one. That’s true presence.
3. LISTEN – Don’t just hear them, feel them. Feel what they’re saying and the true spirit in which the story, advice, or comment is given. Be generous with your time and with your heart.
And here’s the BONUS TIP. If someone has a critical or judgmental voice, just use one of the following responses below and express it in a polite and powerful way:
1. “THANK YOU, I’ll think about that.”
2. “THANK YOU for caring so much.”
3. “I’m happy with everything, THANK YOU.”
It’s nearly impossible for a critical person to continue when you are kind and appreciative of their input.
Saying “thank you” often takes the wind out of their sails, so to speak.
I wish you a delicious Thanksgiving holiday. And may your plate be filled with peace, love, and good connection.
