So my doodlebug #2 threw a fit the other day. He was upset at his brother or Fortnite or something. I can’t even remember what it was about but I do remember how crazy I got in response.
Seriously?!?!
How old are you?
Get off the floor.
OMG, You’re crying?!
It’s just a game!
Go upstairs.
I said, go upstairs!
I know you’re tired! So am I!!!
I’ll spare you the rest as well as my dignity.
Do you ever feel that a “good mom” shouldn’t have a negative reaction? And if you do have a negative emotion or reaction then you have to pause, gather your patience, take a deep breath, and then respond ever so sweetly.
Uh, yeah, I can do that. However, there are more times then I care to admit when I am tired, hungry, frustrated, busy with work, (did I say hungry?) and I just can’t gather up enough energy to take a deep breath, let alone respond sweetly – especially if it’s the tenth time I’m saying the same thing.
As we mature and pass through different life stages, we learn to temper our anger and ignore the negative emotions. It doesn’t always work though and oftentimes, we’ll notice the same thoughts and behaviors coming up again and again.
Of course I love my doodlebug. And there isn’t anything he could ever say or do to change that. I may not “like” him very much in those tough moments but I always love him. I think all moms would agree.
Here’s the *real* challenge.
What do we do when it isn’t about our own kiddo? What if it’s a family member, close friend or even our spouse? What if it’s a co-worker or the idiot that cut us off in traffic this morning? Do we just… love them, too?
So here’s the thing… yes, we do love them, too. And I’ll explain how. We love by first remembering that love isn’t actually a feeling. Love is an action.
When we love someone, we accept and acknowledge them for the child of God that they are. That’s the spiritual viewpoint. Perhaps a more practical way to look at it is by choosing to abide by the universal principle called “The Power of Positive Intent”.
It’s simply this:
That doesn’t mean we have to like what’s going down. It doesn’t mean we accept bad behavior. When we assume positive intent, we are choosing to open our hearts to experience the truth.
And truth is, we’re all doing the best we can, aren’t we? Some days we try harder than others, but really, we don’t wake up in the morning thinking, “Who can we hurt today?”.
As a coach, I use this principle all the time to guide discussions with clients about their important relationships. I don’t often have the privilege of talking or working with the key people in their life but I still assume positive intent even if everything my client is telling me is negative.
Why?
Because negativity creates a toxic mindset and gets in the way of creativity and resourcefulness. If I commiserated instead of just showing compassion, I would be a friend instead of a coach; a coach whose goal is to help you create that amazing, joy-filled, and successful life that you deserve!
If you’ve ever wondered about coaching or what it could mean for your life, I’d love to speak with you! Please take advantage of my Free 30 minute Strategy Session.
During our phone call, we’ll talk for a while about what’s happening in your life, what’s working, what’s not working, as well as what challenges you’re facing. Then I’ll make a few recommendations for next steps and explain how coaching can help. It’s a really easy and relaxed conversation.
Listen, I know you’re doing the best YOU can with the knowledge and understanding YOU have. Let me share with you how life coaching can make it even better – your marriage, your friendships, your health, your work… any area of life.
I love what I do and I love helping people, just like you.
Talk soon!
