If you’re into self help or spiritual development, then you’ve probably have heard the term “love yourself” more than once. Sometimes the context is abstract and you are told to perhaps love yourself through the pain. Other times it’s more directive in that you need to love yourself now in order to love others. And still there are other times when it’s used as a way to justify treating yourself or purchasing something as a personal reward.
The concept may seem abstract in that you’re told to perhaps love yourself through whatever pain you’re experiencing. Other times it’s more directive in that you need to love yourself now in order to love others. Loving yourself could also be a way to motivate or justify treating yourself kindly or purchasing something as a personal reward.
But what does “loving yourself” really mean in the context of the daily grind?
I think loving yourself simply means taking care of yourself and not losing sight of what’s important to you amidst the obligations and challenges of our day-to-day.
Self care is a funny thing though. It can be great. It can be fun. It can be rejuvenating… or at least it’s supposed to be. However, self care can also bring up feelings of guilt, unworthiness, and stress.
Before beginning a personal healing session, I always affirm with my clients that they give themselves permission to relax and receive the healing; that in this moment, it’s okay to allow this special time for their body, mind and spirit. And can you guess what happens next?
I always hear a big exhale!
Why is it so hard for us to care for ourselves?
Well, there are probably a bunch of different reasons and I could probably blog about each one. But instead, let me offer you five easy ways to nurture yourself.
You can do all five, if you’d like or just choose one to concentrate on this weekend or during the upcoming week.
1. Listen – Before you get out of bed in the morning, keep your eyes closed and listen. Listen to the birds, the rustle of the leaves, the wind if it’s blowing. Listen to the sounds in a quiet house. The heat or air blowing through the vents, your children or pet’s foot steps, even your own breath. Being present in this way, eases you awake and inspires gratitude for simple pleasures.
2. Nourish – For one week (or pick how many days), detox your mind of anything that is not loving or peaceful. No news, no social media, no politics, etc. Nourish your spirit by giving it a much needed mental break. Notice how much better you sleep!
3. Activity – Choose something that’s easy to accomplish and that makes you happy. Maybe you’ve been wanting to try out that new recipe. Or stop at your favorite store after work and use that coupon you’ve been holding on to. Take a walk after work and listen to the music you loved when you were in college. Little activities often get pushed to the bottom of the to-do list. Make one a priority this week.
4. Memento – Carry something that reminds you of a quality you wish to cultivate within yourself. For example, maybe you’re going through a tough time right now. Your grandmother’s ring reminds you of her and how strong of a woman she was. Wear her ring or carry it with you to remind you that you are strong, also. Mementos are very personal and meaningful. I know a man who wears a resort identification bracelet he received on vacation last summer. He said he wears it as a symbol of the joy and freedom he felt while traveling. It reminds him that he has the power to choose joy every day.
5. Kindness – Do something for someone else that makes their life easier. Help an elderly person by returning their shopping cart. Offer an encouraging word to a mom with a screaming toddler. Compliment someone on their hair or clothing. Smile at the checkout clerk. Being kind to others is like a ripple in a pond. It always extends further than we think it will.
Life coaching teaches us that awareness and actions create happiness and life balance. The steps don’t need to be big or life changing. In fact, it’s often the very small acts of kindness toward ourselves and others that mean the most.
Things To Think About
Have you been caring for others for so long that you have no idea who you are anymore?
Do you know what you need but can’t find the time?
Do you bury yourself in your work because you’re afraid to put yourself out there?
Do you have dreams or goals but feel like no one supports you?
No matter what you’re struggling with, I know you can get past it and create a life that’s fun and fulfilling.
Click here to schedule a no-fee strategy session with me. Let’s have an easy and relaxed conversation and explore what coaching can mean for your life.
I look forward to speaking with you!
Love & blessings,
Jill
